Last weekend I planned a family meeting that was all about sharing compliments. Before I tell you the details of why I wanted to do it and how it went, I want to share with you the doubts I had right before the meeting and how did I choose to move forward.

Before the meeting, the kids were fighting & arguing.

Given their strong emotions, I thought, “maybe it’s better to delay the activity or choose a different topic for the family meeting.”

I shared my concern with my husband and he suggested going for it anyway.

Initially, I was not convinced and still hesitated.

Then it dawned on me that I was attached to an idea of how I imagined this activity would go. In my imagination, everyone is peaceful and happy to share compliments.

The reality was the opposite.

I realized that I got hooked by fear of failure – fear that the activity would turn out to be a disaster.

I noticed how my solution for this fear was to avoid doing the activity at the moment and do it at some other time when everyone was in good spirits.

“But life is now in session,” I thought.

I asked myself: “Where do I choose to put my heart now? On all the things that don’t go well? Or, on the potential each and every one of us has? In the natural human desire to do good?”

I got clarity and decided to let go of the idea that we can do this activity only in “peaceful conditions.”

My heart softened.

I shared the activity (more on it below) and invited the kids to participate. It turned out wonderfully. Everyone was engaged and left with high spirits.

As we continue to cultivate clarity this month let’s get clarity on the heart’s choice.

We have a vision for creating a better world for our kids and we are committed to Educate by example. The day-to-day interactions call us to make various choices. We want to have clarity of the heart – from what state are we making choices?

Fear and anger often close our hearts and lead us to react. Connecting with the potential we have, the human basic goodness, and our vision can inspire us to see beyond the experience that fear and anger project.

It inspires us to lead, parent, and live with an open heart.

My wish for all of us:

“May your choices reflect your hopes, not your fears” – Nelson Mandela

Becomers’ weekly challenge

Family Activity – the purpose of this activity is to show you and your family that we can all have the capacity to tap into our heart’s choices and see the goodness in one another and in ourselves.

I was inspired to try this activity an idea I read in the book Sibling Without Rivalry. We modified it a bit to meet our family’s needs.

✨ Start by giving heads up that today, we are going to do something special. Invite everyone to bring a pillow and sit on it.

💛 Set your intentions and heart on your vision, your belief in the human potential and goodness, and your commitment to accept things as they are – including accepting your kid’s refusal to participate. Trust the power of modeling an open heart state.

🙌 Provide these guidelines:

• Today, each of us will have a turn to say three things we like about each person in the family. I’ll write down what you said on a piece of paper.
  
• The idea is to say something specific that you like about someone else. For example, let’s say I want to give compliments to “Paddington Bear” (or any other figure that your kids like). Instead of saying “Paddington is nice”, I want to think about something specific like “I like the way Paddington tells me funny jokes”.
  
• Ask who wants to start, and to whom they want to give compliments. Then, the person who receives the compliments goes next, and you continue this round until everyone gives and receives compliments. Then based on the kids’ mood and desire decide together if to continue another round this time or next until everyone in the family gives and receives compliments from everyone else in the family.

At the end of the meeting, each of us had a page with written compliments. We all felt delighted 🥰 and agreed to continue at the next family meeting so that gradually each of us would have compliments from everyone.

Peace and light,

Liz